The Briefcase Edit™ - Issue #3
Strategically Polished. Personally Powerful.
🌼Hello brilliant lawyer moms (& friends!),
This week, we're exploring "The Confidence Paradox" - why lawyer moms often feel least confident precisely when their skills are peaking. Plus, as promised, the three wardrobe pieces that instantly signal executive presence, even on your most overwhelmed days.
Let's dive in.⤵️
💼 Power Pieces of the Week
The Executive Presence Trifecta
Some days, you simply need to command a room despite running on minimal sleep and maximum stress. On these days, I rely on three strategic pieces that signal authority regardless of how you feel internally: 🧥👠
1. The Statement Blazer
Not just any blazer - one with a distinguishing structural element:
Investment: The Fold London's Clever Crepe Knighton Jacket ($525)
Budget-Friendly: Zara's Textured Blazer with strong shoulders ($89)
The key is finding one that creates a strong shoulder line while maintaining comfort. This single piece transforms even basic pieces underneath into a look of authority.
2. The Confidence Earrings
Scientific fact: the right earrings change how you carry yourself and how others perceive you.
Investment: Mejuri JoJo Convertible Hoops ($198) *love the two tone of gold & silver & absolutely love these: Missoma Keshi Pearl Sculptural Drop Earrings ($265)
Budget-Friendly: Madewell Twisted Hoop Earrings ($34)
Look for something with visual weight that frames your face without overwhelming it. The psychological boost from catching glimpses of these in reflective surfaces throughout your day is so fun (& remarkable🌟).
3. The Power Shoe
The right shoe literally changes how you stand and move through professional spaces.
Investment: Sarah Flint Perfect Pump 85 ($450)
Budget-Friendly: Madewell Debbie Slingback ($158) & I also love the Everlane Day Flat ($148)
💥Secret: focus on comfort first, height second. A 2.5" heel you can wear confidently for 12 hours projects is waaaay better than a 4" heel you're struggling with after 2 hours. (Trust me, your feet & blisters will thank you later)⚖️ Mom Hacks, Esq.
The "Power Pause" Protocol⏯️
Before transitioning between work and home modes, implement this 30-second reset:
Place both hands flat on a surface (or on your heart)
Take three deep breaths (4 counts in, 6 counts out)😤
Say silently: "I am fully present for what's next"😊
This micro-ritual creates a clean psychological break between roles, reducing mental residue that follows you between worlds.
🧠The science: This specific breathing pattern activates your parasympathetic nervous system, instantly reducing stress hormones and improving cognitive clarity.📝 Quick Briefs
The 5/25 Clarity Method 💡
When overwhelmed with competing priorities:
List your 25 current professional and personal obligations
Circle the 5 most important
Cross outall 20 others - these aren't just lower priority, they're your "avoid at all costs" list until the top 5 are complete
This method (adapted from Warren Buffett's approach) forces brutal clarity about what truly matters right now.
‼️The hard truth: Your 20 "good ideas" are the enemies of your 5 crucial priorities.
✨ Luxe meets Law
The Power Scent Strategy👃🏻
Scent is our most primitive and emotionally evocative sense—which makes it a powerful tool for professional performance.
Strategic approach: Maintain one signature scent that you wear ONLY for super important or high-stakes professional moments.
Investment: Le Labo Santal 33 ($215)
Budget-Friendly: Chloe by Chloe ($59 with coupon) *still one of my all time faves!
The key isn't the specific fragrance but the consistent association. By limiting this scent to professional power moments, you create a Pavlovian confidence response when you apply it. (pretty cool, huh?!)
Before important meetings, negotiations, or presentations, apply your power scent to wrists and neck. The neurological association triggers your highest-performing professional state.💪🏻
A good friend of mine keeps her power fragrance in a travel-size atomizer in her tote. She told me, "I've worn the same scent for depositions for 15 years. The moment I smell it, I feel my posture straighten and my mind sharpen."
‼️Fun fact: Scents are powerful memory triggers. To this day, a single whiff of Dior's Acqua Di Gio or Curve cologne instantly transports me back to high school dances haha - the awkward swaying under bright lights while the 'cool guys' lingered by the DJ, trailing clouds of cologne that seemed to announce their arrival before they even entered the room🤣.💗 Soft Power Pep Talk
The Confidence Paradox: Why You Feel Least Confident When You're Most Skilled
Have you noticed that despite your increasing expertise, your confidence hasn't necessarily followed the same upward trajectory📈🤔?
You're experiencing what psychologists call the Confidence Paradox—the phenomenon where increased competence actually decreases confidence because you become more aware of the complexity and nuance you previously couldn't see.
The lawyer mom who feels uncertain isn't failing at confidence—she's succeeding at sophisticated thinking.
The beginner attorney sees straightforward, linear paths. → Whereas the experienced attorney sees seven potential approaches, twelve potential pitfalls, and three viable alternatives, naturally creating more space for doubt.
Add to this the maternal perspective that expands your consideration of human factors, long-term implications, and relationship dynamics, and it's no wonder you sometimes feel less certain than colleagues with narrower viewpoints.🤦🏻♀️
What looks like a confidence problem is actually an advanced thinking advantage🎆
Next time you find yourself doubting your approach while male colleagues proceed with unwavering certainty, remember this: your awareness of complexity isn't a weakness… it's sophisticated professional judgment.
Your doubt doesn't reflect a lack of competence but rather a more nuanced understanding of the territory.
The solution isn't to eliminate the doubt, but to recognize it as the natural companion to sophisticated thinking. Then proceed anyway, carrying both your awareness of complexity and your capacity to navigate it.
That's not diminished confidence. That's evolved professional wisdom.✨
And as mothers, we have a ton of it!
Until next week friends,
Founder, The Lawyer Mom Society™ | Creator of the Post-Baby Renaissance™ movement
P.S. In next week's issue, I'll share the three conversation frameworks I use to gracefully handle work-from-home interruptions (*ahem: your children👶🏻 or animals🐶 lol) without undermining professional authority.👏🏻